Please, Someone Say Boo and Hand Me Candy

Two days ago, a woman was gruesomely murdered by her son in the Farmingdale area. The son then threw himself in front of a LIRR train. Today I read that a woman hung herself at the Medford station.

Please, someone tell me I'm on Candid Camera. Usually I'd make some kind of snarky comment, but these stories just make me sad. 

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Ebola and You: A Commuter's Survival Guide

Ebola's here! Ebola's here! And I'm sure you're wondering how the heck you can avoid catching this dreadful virus. The short answer is "good luck with that." It's highly contagious, and here in New York we spend a lot of time in tight spaces. Mayor Bill de Blasio has ensured us that we should not panic, but that's about as comforting to me as former Vice President Dan Quayle telling us that it's perfectly safe to eat genetically modified foods.

So, I'm ignoring the warnings and following my own avoidance methods. After all, exactly one person has fallen victim to this heinous virus, approximately 1500 miles away, in a country of 300,000,000 people. So I'm not taking any chances. I've come up with ten train behavior suggestions to avoid catching Ebola. I call it, "Ebola and You: A Commuter's Survival Guide."

As a collateral impact, many of these efforts will result in a more pleasant commute. Everyone wins!

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Guest Post: Emily's Ebola Manifesto

Today's TTIV blog entry is a guest post from my friend Emily. Featured in the mastheads of influential magazines such as Glamour and People, she has grabbed this Ebola scare by the horns and has a lot to say about it. It's more of a manifesto than a blog entry. Enjoy.

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Spiders on a Train

On the train, looked up from my book and saw a spider spinning a web directly in front of me. Woman next to me got skittish, and I batted it away. Wish I'd taken a picture first. Not something you see every day.  

Makes me wonder how much of the arachnid/insect food chain lurks on trains. 

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The World's Most Adaptable Man

On the train one recent evening, I witnessed the WORLD'S MOST ADAPTABLE MAN. You may think I'm speaking in hyperbole, but I'm not.  Really, I saw a person who did something so incredible that he easily qualified as the WORLD'S MOST ADAPTABLE MAN. Let me tell you why.

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The Bus, The Bus, The Bus Is On Fire

Today's TTIV post is from our NJ Transit Bus Correspondent, Chintan. Buses sometimes go out of service, as do trains. However, when buses go out of service, it's a much more dramatic experience.

Here's something that doesn't happen every day. Well, for those who commute on NJ Transit, it does. But for everyone else, it may be surprising. A crowded bus catches fire, during rush hour. Everyone has to exit and wait for another bus while emergency vehicles attend to the stricken bus. 

Those who get caught in this situation are no doubt aware that this tragedy inevitably unfolds at a major merge point, or within a single, enclosed lane. Why have a burning bus if you can't maximize the disruption it causes?

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Slippin' and Slidin'

I'd like to welcome TTIV readers to "Slip/Slide Conditions Season." During this period, leaves fall from the trees onto the tracks. When it rains, the water and leaves combine to form an oily mush. The Long Island Rail Road clears the rails frequently during off hours. However, there are a lot of trees and a lot of leaves.

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A Brisk Walk Down The Aisle

On the train, a woman walked quickly down the aisle asking people to take a service survey. About halfway through the car, the train jerked and she went flying, running up and out of my sight. 

I hope she's ok, I know I shouldn't laugh, but damn that was funny.

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Neurosis And Agita On The 7:29 AM

Usually, I'm a pretty easygoing guy, but I have my neuroses like everyone else. Within the shared confines of the train, I frequently see things that trigger them. In this blog post, I will share a few.

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Mr. Murphy, I Should Have Stayed Home

A disabled train somewhere west of Hicksville snarled LIRR traffic on Friday morning.  The platform was packed. A Brooklyn-bound train pulled in, and I happily got on. The throng on the platform wanted to go to Penn Station in Manhattan, and very few boarded. My final destination being downtown Manhattan, it's just as convenient to go to Brooklyn or Penn. I sat down, looked out at the commuters waiting on the platform, and thought, "TTIV 1, Train Delays 0."

Little did I realize that Murphy's Law would apply.

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The Platform Dance

Tonight, I got off the train as usual at Hicksville Station and made my way toward the east side staircase. I expected the usual walk to my car. Instead, I have a story to tell. To best describe the scene, I provide a crude drawing.

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An Explosive Sneeze, Followed By Defibrillation Paddles

On the train, guy behind me just sneezed so forcefully that I'll probably catch his cold. I'll go pick up some cold meds right after I recover from my heart attack.

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THERE ARE RULES! It's a Bad Behavior Epidemic!

A reader recently posted a photo of the Subway Etiquette poster to the right on the TTIV Facebook page. There's a Bad Behavior epidemic out there, and it's harder than Ebola to contain.

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Reminiscing Recursion On The Train

On the train. Short two cars and ridiculously packed.  The kind of commute where you're happy to have a good standing spot. Two guys next to me reminiscing about other times they've been on packed trains. Masochists.

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