Hi all, today's story comes from a guest, who we'll call Othello. He takes a NJ Transit bus each day, and just as we Long Island Rail Road denizens have to translate terms like "track condition," Othello has to decipher bus euphemisms.
I travel into NYC via NJ Transit bus. The service is mostly reliable, but the rush-hour commute into New York by vehicle is brutal. NJ Transit has no magic wand to fix the the inevitable issues that slow traffic, so we all have to endure delays as a fact of life.
Just as Eskimos have hundreds of words for snow, NJ Transit has many terms to describe the usual, everyday, slow rush-hour service. Here are a few of my favorites.
Showing posts with label TTIV. Show all posts
Showing posts with label TTIV. Show all posts
Sunday, April 10, 2016
Tuesday, March 29, 2016
Guest Post: Stay Thirsty, Friends
Today, we have another great guest story from "The Duke of Albany." The Duke has shared some interesting yarns, including "The Golden Slipper" and "One Man Anti-Terrorism Task Force."
I won't give too much away, but there is no need to ever go thirsty on the Long Island Rail Road. You may be late, you may be irritated, but you won't ever want for a beverage.
I won't give too much away, but there is no need to ever go thirsty on the Long Island Rail Road. You may be late, you may be irritated, but you won't ever want for a beverage.
Friday, March 18, 2016
Nothing Has Changed... WHEW!
Hey TTIV followers. You haven't heard from me in a while, and that's because I've been distracted by a personal situation. But today, I am on the train from Hicksville to Penn Station, and ready to once again share my thoughts, rants, and general exasperation.
My main observation today is that NOTHING has changed.
My main observation today is that NOTHING has changed.
Monday, February 08, 2016
Get Up For Pregnant Women!
We all share the instinct of protecting children, and that sentiment usually extends to expectant mothers. So why is it that when a woman who is clearly with child boards the train, people pretend to not see her?
To be fair, you may not know for sure if a woman is pregnant. She could be, er, "built abundantly," making you unsure if she's with child or not. But we're talking about the obvious case of a glowing lady with a big round belly.
TTIV asked readers about their experiences and opinions on this topic. As is customary here, contributor identities have been changed to Shakespearean names.

TTIV asked readers about their experiences and opinions on this topic. As is customary here, contributor identities have been changed to Shakespearean names.
Tuesday, January 26, 2016
The Triangle Of Disdain
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The Triangle of Disdain |
As some of you know, I'm a recent Citi Bike convert. It's a fantastic New York City quality of life improvement. If Citi Bike were a religious cult, I'd wear a robe, shave my head, and live at the airport. I'd hand out flowers, gear shift knobs, and pamphlets to travelers.
Given the amount of time in Manhattan I spend 1) walking, 2) biking, and 3) occasionally driving, I've noticed a personal behavior pattern. Whichever method I'm using, I have great hostility for those doing the other two.

I suspect I'm not unique. Let's have a look at how it works.
Thursday, January 21, 2016
Gas Mask Guy
The interesting Penn Station person of the day is Gas Mask Guy. Gas Mask Guy sweeps the very busy Amtrak men's room wearing a mask. He works mornings. I wonder what the hell I'm breathing when I use the facilities.
Never mind. I don't want to know.
Never mind. I don't want to know.
Wednesday, January 20, 2016
Come Here Often to Repent?
Stood on the corner of 34th and 7th this evening, trying to get to Penn Station. A “Repent Ye Now” guy stood with his tall sign and warned us all of impending doom. In between fervent claims of eternal hellfire and misery, he lowered his voice and attempted to flirt with women passing by.
I wonder what his God would think of that.
I wonder what his God would think of that.
Tuesday, January 19, 2016
Hungry... Snarled... Score!!
I generally don't mind the commute, but tonight my daughter has a basketball game and I was late due to snarled trains. And that stinks.
I made it just a few minutes late. My daughter brought me a packed dinner because she thought I'd be hungry.
The kid's a keeper.
By the way, her team won.
I made it just a few minutes late. My daughter brought me a packed dinner because she thought I'd be hungry.
The kid's a keeper.
By the way, her team won.
Thursday, January 14, 2016
Guest Post: One Man Anti-Terrorism Force
Today's TTIV story is a guest post that is part bizarre behavior and part sociological oddity. It comes from "The Duke of Albany." He's not really a Duke, and he's not from Albany, but TTIV protects the identities of contributors with Shakespearean character names.
In 2015, the Duke shared a great story about the frightening Hicksville parking facility traffic director, who I nicknamed "Edgar Wrentilkoppe." This one's about a LIRR rider with grand delusions.
One morning, I got on a Brooklyn-bound Long Island Rail Road train at Deer Park. As is typical of non-Manhattan bound trains, it was quiet with ample seating. The silence was shattered though, as a "Chatty Cathy" contingent boarded my train car. They clustered together in the six-seater, facing each other, two rows away from me. There were three women and one man. To further the visualization, imagine the most stereotypical Lawn Guyland accents you've ever heard.
To top it off, they had a LOT to say.
In 2015, the Duke shared a great story about the frightening Hicksville parking facility traffic director, who I nicknamed "Edgar Wrentilkoppe." This one's about a LIRR rider with grand delusions.
One morning, I got on a Brooklyn-bound Long Island Rail Road train at Deer Park. As is typical of non-Manhattan bound trains, it was quiet with ample seating. The silence was shattered though, as a "Chatty Cathy" contingent boarded my train car. They clustered together in the six-seater, facing each other, two rows away from me. There were three women and one man. To further the visualization, imagine the most stereotypical Lawn Guyland accents you've ever heard.
To top it off, they had a LOT to say.
Friday, January 01, 2016
Cheers to 2015 and Welcome 2016!
The other day, I received a series of emails from the Long Island Rail Road. A person was hit by a train near Hicksville. A grade crossing gate was broken somewhere. And there was no drinking allowed on the train for New Year's Eve.
Friday, December 25, 2015
Holiday Spirit And Potentially Bad Choices
My generally happy holiday mood and perhaps an insanity streak may have saved me from bodily harm. The setting of this story is the subway, my final ride of 2015 from my client's office to Penn Station. It was pouring rain, and people who typically take a Citi Bike (like me) or walk sought shelter on the train to get to their destinations.
Wednesday, December 16, 2015
Encroachment Should Come With Penalties
Webster's Dictionary states that personal space is "the physical area immediately surrounding someone, into which any encroachment feels threatening to or uncomfortable for them." Yes, encroachment in a confined space is a problem, and nowhere is it felt more than on a crowded Long Island Rail Road train.
In the NFL, encroachment is called when a defensive player enters the neutral zone, making contact with an opponent prior to the snap. There is no neutral zone luxury on the LIRR, and you certainly can't expect conductors to act as referees, so unchecked violations are a regular issue.
There are different levels of encroachment. Some egregious, and some minor. Let's look at a few.
In the NFL, encroachment is called when a defensive player enters the neutral zone, making contact with an opponent prior to the snap. There is no neutral zone luxury on the LIRR, and you certainly can't expect conductors to act as referees, so unchecked violations are a regular issue.
There are different levels of encroachment. Some egregious, and some minor. Let's look at a few.
Thursday, November 26, 2015
Happy Thanksgiving!
Thankful for your following, shared stories, and comments. Happy Thanksgiving from #TTIV !!
Wednesday, November 18, 2015
The Wheel Of Blame
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The MTA Wheel of Blame |
I assume the MTA Communications department office has a large, prize-style "Wheel of Blame" to determine delay messages. They spin the wheel, an item comes up, and click "send." Communication responsibility fulfilled. Is it accurate? Who cares?
Let's review the slots on the Wheel of Blame.
Wednesday, November 04, 2015
There's More To Life Than The Quiet Car
TTIV frequently explores the merits and shortcomings of the quiet car. The program's success has certainly been uneven. Why? It is only effective if the rules are followed voluntarily, and that is not always the case.
No matter though. Let's be visionaries for a moment and assume the program is a massive success. What if the MTA decided to build on that success and introduce different kinds of cars for different kinds of commuters?
No matter though. Let's be visionaries for a moment and assume the program is a massive success. What if the MTA decided to build on that success and introduce different kinds of cars for different kinds of commuters?
Sunday, October 25, 2015
Citi Bike: Cobblestones and Sweat
In my last post I wrote about trying Citi Bike. This past Thursday night, I downloaded the app and familiarized myself with bike docks near my usual destinations. On Friday morning, I was ready to try it. At 53 degrees and sunny with no wind, conditions were perfect.
Upon my arrival at Penn Station, I checked the app and saw that there were six bikes at the dock on 8th Avenue. Fantastic! This is going to work out well.
Upon my arrival at Penn Station, I checked the app and saw that there were six bikes at the dock on 8th Avenue. Fantastic! This is going to work out well.
Friday, October 23, 2015
New Adventures In Commuting
Trains, trains, trains. Buses, buses, buses. Subways, subways, subways. Blah blah blah. When you read TTIV, do you feel like things get repetitive sometimes? Nah, me neither. Every day is a new experience when riding the rails. But how about we try something new? TTIV has decided to embark on a new commuting experience, Citi Bike.
The Citi Bike program has been around since 2013. When it started, the bikes were terrible and the program received lukewarm grades at best. A newer fleet of bikes have been introduced and many people are happier with the program now.
The Citi Bike program has been around since 2013. When it started, the bikes were terrible and the program received lukewarm grades at best. A newer fleet of bikes have been introduced and many people are happier with the program now.
Wednesday, October 21, 2015
Going Off The Rails Again
TTIV published a post a few weeks back, containing random musings. Thanks to all the positive responses, we're doing this again. As I sit here watching game 4 of the NLCS between the Mets and Cubs, my mind has wandered, as it often does, to commuting. Let's get right to the sound bites in another edition of "Off the Rails."
Friday, October 16, 2015
Subway Characters
Quite the morning on the subway today, saw some interesting characters.
All the way from Atlantic Avenue in Brooklyn to Park Place in Manhattan, this woman made her nails hot pink. By the end of the ride, I had a nail polish headache.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month, people are wearing pink. And then some are riding pink and rocking the purple.
All the way from Atlantic Avenue in Brooklyn to Park Place in Manhattan, this woman made her nails hot pink. By the end of the ride, I had a nail polish headache.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month, people are wearing pink. And then some are riding pink and rocking the purple.
Commute Off-Peak At Your Own Risk
Earlier this week, a friend who doesn’t often ride the LIRR took the train home from meetings in Manhattan. He found himself surrounded by numerous amateurs, which is no surprise since it was 3 PM, and certainly not rush hour. Amazed by the plentiful rudeness, he gave me real-time text updates for the duration of his off-peak trip.
TTIV takes no pleasure in what he endured. However, there's a sense of vindication in knowing that I’m not the only one who gets frustrated by lack of self-awareness. General disrespect of others in the shared space of a train car is unfortunately the norm.
Today's post is a cleaned up transcript of our conversation. TTIV protects the identities of contributors with Shakespearean names, and today's contributor is "Borachio."
TTIV takes no pleasure in what he endured. However, there's a sense of vindication in knowing that I’m not the only one who gets frustrated by lack of self-awareness. General disrespect of others in the shared space of a train car is unfortunately the norm.
Today's post is a cleaned up transcript of our conversation. TTIV protects the identities of contributors with Shakespearean names, and today's contributor is "Borachio."