The Train In Vain: Sharing Commuting Stories

If you have one or more Apple devices, you may be familiar with “AirDrop.” It lets you easily transfer documents between Apple products. Party 1 offers a file or photo to Party 2. If Party 2 accepts it, it's done. Easy as can be.

On the train, we sit close together. If there are AirDrop-enabled Apple gadgets in range, they will appear by name in your AirDrop folder.

When forces for good harness AirDrop, it's a benign and useful tool. But today on TTIV, we’ll explore what kinds of fun we can have when we leverage this technology for evil purposes.

MOO HOO HA HA HA HA.....

As you can see in Exhibit A, Sean, Jon, Jenna, and Ilana are in range of my computer. What kind of fun can we have?

Exhibit A: Jon, Jenna, Ilana, and Sean are nearby

An evil way to get a seat. Don't you hate when you can't find a seat and have to stand? You can open a seat up pretty easily now that you know the name of a nearby stranger. Simply announce, “Is there a Sean in this car?” Sean will of course turn toward you, and now you know his facial features. Let’s say Sean has a mustache and glasses. Now you can say, “Sean, there’s a situation in car #4, a man is in ill health. He begged me to locate Sean in car #12. He said you'd have a mustache and wire spectacles." Intrigued, Sean will get up and make his way to the forward section of the train, and you will sit down in his seat and enjoy a peaceful ride.

An evil way to quiet a rude passenger. If someone on his phone won’t shut up, approach the chatterbox and say, "I wanted you to know there are a few people named Jon and Ilana nearby. They're unhappy with your noise level. They're organizing some kind of action against you, but I don't know what."

He will thank you for letting him know, and either quiet down, or look for Jon and Ilana to work out the conflict. Either way, you're out of the picture. It's Jon and Ilana's problem.

Exhibit B: Use AirDrop to meet women

An evil way to break the ice with a woman. If you're completely out of ideas for approaching women, Try this. Save a file with a message in the title. I named a file "Hi Jenna, this is not a creepy way to meet women at all.txt."

Now you AirDrop that file to Jenna, and she will see a message like the one in Exhibit B. This can't miss, because women appreciate being hit on when cornered and unable to easily exit. Start picking out restaurants for your first date.

People always complain about the commute, but I say you have to make your own good time. It sure would be fun to try these. Got any of your own AirDrop ideas? If so, share them with TTIV.

Oh, one last thing. Jenna, if you're reading this, Sean and Jon were too shy to come say hello, but they both want to meet you.