Hi all, today's story comes from a guest, who we'll call Othello. He takes a NJ Transit bus each day, and just as we Long Island Rail Road denizens have to translate terms like "track condition," Othello has to decipher bus euphemisms.
I travel into NYC via NJ Transit bus. The service is mostly reliable, but the rush-hour commute into New York by vehicle is brutal. NJ Transit has no magic wand to fix the the inevitable issues that slow traffic, so we all have to endure delays as a fact of life.
Just as Eskimos have hundreds of words for snow, NJ Transit has many terms to describe the usual, everyday, slow rush-hour service. Here are a few of my favorites.
Sunday, April 10, 2016
Tuesday, March 29, 2016
Guest Post: Stay Thirsty, Friends
Today, we have another great guest story from "The Duke of Albany." The Duke has shared some interesting yarns, including "The Golden Slipper" and "One Man Anti-Terrorism Task Force."
I won't give too much away, but there is no need to ever go thirsty on the Long Island Rail Road. You may be late, you may be irritated, but you won't ever want for a beverage.
I won't give too much away, but there is no need to ever go thirsty on the Long Island Rail Road. You may be late, you may be irritated, but you won't ever want for a beverage.
Friday, March 18, 2016
Nothing Has Changed... WHEW!
Hey TTIV followers. You haven't heard from me in a while, and that's because I've been distracted by a personal situation. But today, I am on the train from Hicksville to Penn Station, and ready to once again share my thoughts, rants, and general exasperation.
My main observation today is that NOTHING has changed.
My main observation today is that NOTHING has changed.
Monday, February 08, 2016
Get Up For Pregnant Women!
We all share the instinct of protecting children, and that sentiment usually extends to expectant mothers. So why is it that when a woman who is clearly with child boards the train, people pretend to not see her?
To be fair, you may not know for sure if a woman is pregnant. She could be, er, "built abundantly," making you unsure if she's with child or not. But we're talking about the obvious case of a glowing lady with a big round belly.
TTIV asked readers about their experiences and opinions on this topic. As is customary here, contributor identities have been changed to Shakespearean names.
To be fair, you may not know for sure if a woman is pregnant. She could be, er, "built abundantly," making you unsure if she's with child or not. But we're talking about the obvious case of a glowing lady with a big round belly.TTIV asked readers about their experiences and opinions on this topic. As is customary here, contributor identities have been changed to Shakespearean names.
Tuesday, January 26, 2016
The Triangle Of Disdain
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| The Triangle of Disdain |
As some of you know, I'm a recent Citi Bike convert. It's a fantastic New York City quality of life improvement. If Citi Bike were a religious cult, I'd wear a robe, shave my head, and live at the airport. I'd hand out flowers, gear shift knobs, and pamphlets to travelers.
Given the amount of time in Manhattan I spend 1) walking, 2) biking, and 3) occasionally driving, I've noticed a personal behavior pattern. Whichever method I'm using, I have great hostility for those doing the other two.
I call this behavior pattern the "Triangle of Disdain." While trying to get from point A to point B, the "green ball of grouchiness," represented by Oscar the Grouch, falls somewhere on the triangle.I suspect I'm not unique. Let's have a look at how it works.
Thursday, January 21, 2016
Gas Mask Guy
Never mind. I don't want to know.
Wednesday, January 20, 2016
Come Here Often to Repent?
Stood on the corner of 34th and 7th this evening, trying to get to Penn Station. A “Repent Ye Now” guy stood with his tall sign and warned us all of impending doom. In between fervent claims of eternal hellfire and misery, he lowered his voice and attempted to flirt with women passing by.
I wonder what his God would think of that.
I wonder what his God would think of that.
Tuesday, January 19, 2016
Hungry... Snarled... Score!!
I generally don't mind the commute, but tonight my daughter has a basketball game and I was late due to snarled trains. And that stinks.
I made it just a few minutes late. My daughter brought me a packed dinner because she thought I'd be hungry.
The kid's a keeper.
By the way, her team won.
I made it just a few minutes late. My daughter brought me a packed dinner because she thought I'd be hungry.
The kid's a keeper.
By the way, her team won.
Thursday, January 14, 2016
Guest Post: One Man Anti-Terrorism Force
Today's TTIV story is a guest post that is part bizarre behavior and part sociological oddity. It comes from "The Duke of Albany." He's not really a Duke, and he's not from Albany, but TTIV protects the identities of contributors with Shakespearean character names.
In 2015, the Duke shared a great story about the frightening Hicksville parking facility traffic director, who I nicknamed "Edgar Wrentilkoppe." This one's about a LIRR rider with grand delusions.
One morning, I got on a Brooklyn-bound Long Island Rail Road train at Deer Park. As is typical of non-Manhattan bound trains, it was quiet with ample seating. The silence was shattered though, as a "Chatty Cathy" contingent boarded my train car. They clustered together in the six-seater, facing each other, two rows away from me. There were three women and one man. To further the visualization, imagine the most stereotypical Lawn Guyland accents you've ever heard.
To top it off, they had a LOT to say.
In 2015, the Duke shared a great story about the frightening Hicksville parking facility traffic director, who I nicknamed "Edgar Wrentilkoppe." This one's about a LIRR rider with grand delusions.
One morning, I got on a Brooklyn-bound Long Island Rail Road train at Deer Park. As is typical of non-Manhattan bound trains, it was quiet with ample seating. The silence was shattered though, as a "Chatty Cathy" contingent boarded my train car. They clustered together in the six-seater, facing each other, two rows away from me. There were three women and one man. To further the visualization, imagine the most stereotypical Lawn Guyland accents you've ever heard.
To top it off, they had a LOT to say.
Friday, January 01, 2016
Cheers to 2015 and Welcome 2016!
The other day, I received a series of emails from the Long Island Rail Road. A person was hit by a train near Hicksville. A grade crossing gate was broken somewhere. And there was no drinking allowed on the train for New Year's Eve.
