The Train In Vain: Sharing Commuting Stories

We all share the instinct of protecting children, and that sentiment usually extends to expectant mothers. So why is it that when a woman who is clearly with child boards the train, people pretend to not see her?

To be fair, you may not know for sure if a woman is pregnant. She could be, er, "built abundantly," making you unsure if she's with child or not. But we're talking about the obvious case of a glowing lady with a big round belly.

TTIV asked readers about their experiences and opinions on this topic. As is customary here, contributor identities have been changed to Shakespearean names.

Octavius. I'm a Type A commuter, but that should never get in way of chivalry. I think this is more of a concern on the subway than commuter trains. When I had a brace on my knee after an operation, people got up for me.

Agreed, Octavius. Just wait until you read Juliet's story below.

Bianca. This is a huge peeve of mine. I frequently see people ignore pregnant women, the disabled, and the elderly. I get up every time because others don't. And if I'm standing, I will say out loud to my fellow passengers, "someone has to get up and give this person a seat." Someone usually gets up out of embarrassment.

Humphrey, Duke of Gloucester. It's hard to say whether people are selfish, or simply unaware of what's happening around them.

Humphrey and I both admired Bianca's willingness to get up in the face of stupid when we discussed this over social media.

Hippolyta. I commuted while I was pregnant with twins. In nine months, I was offered a seat on the subway one time. NJ Transit wasn't any better.

Commuter trains, subway trains. Equal opportunity bad behavior.

Juliet. Once, when I was late in my pregnancy, I gave up my subway seat for an elderly woman, because nobody else did. She sat me back down, grabbed the young man next to me by the ear, and lectured him on the poor manners and breeding of today's young people. Once her diatribe was done, about half the row stood up to let her sit.

By the ear? Only an old lady could get away with that. If the man went to a police officer, they'd laugh at him.

One time, my nine-months pregnant wife and I stood together on the subway in front of an able-bodied man who wouldn't get up. I aggressively looked at him until he reluctantly let her sit. Probably not the smartest move, but when there are no 80 year old grandmothers around to enforce basic decency, you do what you can.

Happy and safe commuting, and may you encounter uncommon sense.

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